Becoming Herself

Susan here, reporting a little late on my week in Ohio. Mom is being very brave, trying lots of new stuff and getting her life better integrated that I had dared hope. Dorothy continues to be heroic in her many large and small kindnesses to help keep Mom going despite having a full plate of her own.

The difference between my first and second trips was night and day. Mom is no longer a patient who is fragile and needs everything. She is now someone who is engaged in the world, doing mostly normal activities, perhaps with more rest in between. There are plenty of 84 year olds who do less and try less.

It was great to see her zipping up and down the hall with the walker, shall we call it the runner? and I hear as of a day or two ago she has gone upstairs briefly - of course with someone there. Good to be able to see her things up there and to know she *can* go up, with a person there to spot her, if she wants to. It will still be a while before sleeping in the upstairs bedroom. One step at a time. We made it to church, to Bible study, for her first time back since the surgery, and then to Lenten lunch.

The goals for my time with Mom during March 8 - 15 [specific dispensation from Katherine to travel/not be in San Francisco on her 28th birthday] were simple: (1) Visit and enjoy Mom; (2) Spruce up the immediate area around Mom to have fewer things and have her feel more in control; (3) Catch up a little on paperwork in either the dining room or the study. I had shipped 4 banker boxes in advance which DJ assembled for us.

It was a great visit with a lot of time to talk about all kinds of things. I think we solved the problems of the world. No matter how old I get sometimes there is just no substitute for telling Mom all about it.

The sprucing up part started with a fairly small clean spot on the wall, as it were, and grew to encompass the kitchen - which was also a priority for me in January - as well as a once over in the bathroom and laundry. We discussed options for deeper housecleaning including having D. Baker or Sarah take on a little more. Barbara suggested a one time all-house cleaning service that would really scrub the place from stem to stern, a good idea I think. Perhaps in preparation for the July reunion?

Catching up on the paperwork was third. I was trying to keep to my new program of being more gentle to myself and recognizing physical and emotional limits, so didn't push too hard on the sorting. We did sort through pretty much everything in the family room and the exterior surfaces of the kitchen, though not the cart.

We got to the paperwork only on my last day. It was a start, hopefully something that other folks can help with as they pass thru Middletown. It's more fun to sort if you have someone to talk to about the item being filed or pitched. Mom thought there were still photos to take care of, on the little desk in the dining room. I didn't see any but then again I didn't look very hard. If there are photos, I think it would make Mom feel better to have those labeled and in good shape.

On the home-west front, we are experiencing layoffs of staff which are very painful for our team. Looks like no one is immune to shifts in the economy. I gave up my paycheck, which I had been proud of. We are trying to hold things together and continue to work for greater transparency in politics. Not an easy time for me but as we pass through it, I will be getting away from the extremely long work days and finally have the time, if not the willpower, for my fitness program. Thanks to all for your love and concern for Mom, for me, and for Dorothy who is continuing to do the heavy lifting.

Mom - silly to talk about you in the 3rd person - we love you.