Aunt Ruth

Both Kathy and Jeff will be out of town from 10/31 to 11/7. If you are thinking of writing to Aunt Ruth, next week would be a good time to do it. Her latest return address is:

5361 McAuley Drive

Ypsilanti MI 48197

I suspect that the Box 995/Ann Arbor 48106 address that we have is still valid too. Maybe her Huron Woods place straddles the town line?

Love, Yermom

JAM Bible

I found Dad's King James Bible that he got in 4th grade. Cover is loose, text intact. Any interest?

yermom

JAM stationery

I have two boxes of 8-1/2 x 11 paper with Dad's letterhead.

Any interest?


Love to all, Yermom

Sylvia Beach

Today's Cincinnati Enquirer has an article (6" x 4 columns) about Sylvia. If you can't find it on cincinnati.com let me know and I'll send you a copy.

yermom

Going to Barbara's

I'm flying to Allentown on Friday Sept. 4, returning home on Tuesday the 8th.

Steve and Sandi are planning to come up to Barbara's party on Sunday. It'll be fun to see them again.


Love, Mother

Susan Beach's address

Here is the address (and zip code) for Susan Beach

29 Stillmeadow Dr
Cincinnati, OH 45245-2805
(513) 752-1193

It's listed in the directory as S. Beach, which sounds more like
Sylvia than Susan.

The address I have for Susan and her partner Bill Jeffrey is:

3227 Close Court
Cincinnati OH 45208
(513) 321-7406

I suspect mail sent to either address will reach Susan.

Susan Beach's mother

Sylvia Beach died last Thursday in Cincinnati. There will be a memorial service Wed. Sept 2.

The obits were in today's papers. You can find them at MiddletownJournal.com/obits
or Cincinnati.com.

Susan's address is 29 Stillmeadow Drive
Cincinnati OH 45245




yermom

A new life for 1300 Girard

Middletown's Hope House has taken over our old apartment building and is going to rebuild it into a transitional living community for women and children. It will have 8 apartments, with a communal kitchen and living areas. Hope House plans to offer life skills including parenting, nutrition, budgeting, esteem building, addiction management, and job readiness.

Sounds ambitious. Last year Hope House had to turn away 300 people because they didn't have room for them, so I know this will fill a great need.

I think Dad would approve of this. I'm going to make a contribution to Hope House in his name.


Love, Mother

I'm blogging from India, China, and Israel

During this month I am away from home, I am going to try to keep a blog, so that people can know what I'm up to (that is to say, if they are interested). Since cell phone calls cost $4 a minute in India, I thought this would be cheaper.

If you want to see what I'm up to, go to:

http://dsmcintosh.blogspot.com/

Unlike this blog (McNews), it is not set up to inform you every time I post something. In other words, if you want to know what's up, you'll need to go to my blog. If you want, though, you can set yourself up as a follower. That way your Blogger dashboard (homepage), which you probably see when you are posting something to McNews, will inform you that there are new posts here. Alternatively, I can set you up to get emails of every little post.

Anyone need a ride from Dayton Airport on Friday?

We're arriving at 3:30. Does anyone else get in then?

On Sunday, Leah and the kids are on a 12:00 flight out of Dayton. They will plan on taking Jessica.

Travel Plans, small corrections

(1)

ARRIVING in DAYTON:
Friday, July 3
US 2355 from NEW YORK LGA
3:25 pm

(not from Charlotte)

(2) We will be renting two cars. Leah will return one on Sunday, I'll return the other on Friday.

(3) Ben is bringing his girlfriend, Emma.

Travel plans for David, Leah, Ben and Sarah

We've finally bought our tickets. The delay was because my work schedule for July only got nailed down on Thursday.

ARRIVING in DAYTON:
Friday, July 3
US 2355 from Charlotte CLT
3:25 pm

DEPARTING from DAYTON:
Sunday, July 5
US 2596 to Washington DCA
12:00 pm

I (David) will be staying for the following week.

DAVID'S DEPARTURE from CINCINNATI:
Friday, July 10
United 7417 to Chicago ORD
3:33 pm


I will be renting a car for the week.

The other news (for those of you who have read all the way through this email) is that Ben's girlfriend is coming with us. Her name is Emma Labrot (pronounced "la-broe"), and she just graduated from Union college. She is brave indeed.

See you all soon,
David

Becoming Herself

Susan here, reporting a little late on my week in Ohio. Mom is being very brave, trying lots of new stuff and getting her life better integrated that I had dared hope. Dorothy continues to be heroic in her many large and small kindnesses to help keep Mom going despite having a full plate of her own.

The difference between my first and second trips was night and day. Mom is no longer a patient who is fragile and needs everything. She is now someone who is engaged in the world, doing mostly normal activities, perhaps with more rest in between. There are plenty of 84 year olds who do less and try less.

It was great to see her zipping up and down the hall with the walker, shall we call it the runner? and I hear as of a day or two ago she has gone upstairs briefly - of course with someone there. Good to be able to see her things up there and to know she *can* go up, with a person there to spot her, if she wants to. It will still be a while before sleeping in the upstairs bedroom. One step at a time. We made it to church, to Bible study, for her first time back since the surgery, and then to Lenten lunch.

The goals for my time with Mom during March 8 - 15 [specific dispensation from Katherine to travel/not be in San Francisco on her 28th birthday] were simple: (1) Visit and enjoy Mom; (2) Spruce up the immediate area around Mom to have fewer things and have her feel more in control; (3) Catch up a little on paperwork in either the dining room or the study. I had shipped 4 banker boxes in advance which DJ assembled for us.

It was a great visit with a lot of time to talk about all kinds of things. I think we solved the problems of the world. No matter how old I get sometimes there is just no substitute for telling Mom all about it.

The sprucing up part started with a fairly small clean spot on the wall, as it were, and grew to encompass the kitchen - which was also a priority for me in January - as well as a once over in the bathroom and laundry. We discussed options for deeper housecleaning including having D. Baker or Sarah take on a little more. Barbara suggested a one time all-house cleaning service that would really scrub the place from stem to stern, a good idea I think. Perhaps in preparation for the July reunion?

Catching up on the paperwork was third. I was trying to keep to my new program of being more gentle to myself and recognizing physical and emotional limits, so didn't push too hard on the sorting. We did sort through pretty much everything in the family room and the exterior surfaces of the kitchen, though not the cart.

We got to the paperwork only on my last day. It was a start, hopefully something that other folks can help with as they pass thru Middletown. It's more fun to sort if you have someone to talk to about the item being filed or pitched. Mom thought there were still photos to take care of, on the little desk in the dining room. I didn't see any but then again I didn't look very hard. If there are photos, I think it would make Mom feel better to have those labeled and in good shape.

On the home-west front, we are experiencing layoffs of staff which are very painful for our team. Looks like no one is immune to shifts in the economy. I gave up my paycheck, which I had been proud of. We are trying to hold things together and continue to work for greater transparency in politics. Not an easy time for me but as we pass through it, I will be getting away from the extremely long work days and finally have the time, if not the willpower, for my fitness program. Thanks to all for your love and concern for Mom, for me, and for Dorothy who is continuing to do the heavy lifting.

Mom - silly to talk about you in the 3rd person - we love you.

Mom versus Tiger Woods

8 months after major knee surgery, Tiger Woods has returned to the pro golf circuit. Mom: you've got about 6 1/2 months till you turn pro.

Also, Susan: you were first on birthday wishes. Thanks

-Bob

Will be in Middletown Mar 8 - 15

Susan here - I'll be going to Middletown Sunday March 8 and leaving Sunday March 15. Katherine gave me special permission to be away on her birthday so I could help take care of Grandma.

Request for phone calls - Mom says things get pretty quiet starting around 6 - 7 pm so perhaps that would be a good time for some of us out of town types to call, instead of earlier when her life is busy and full of people. Dorothy if I dont have the times quite right let us know - thanks.

Love and cookies to all and happy birthday tomorrow Bob!

Trip report from Ohio

Hey everybody, I just flew back from Ohio, and boy are my arms tired. I thought a trip report would be welcome reading. Actually, I know that you have limited interest in how my trip was, but much greater interest in how Mother is doing. She is in much better shape than I expected. (Mother, you should feel free to respond to this post and correct whatever misrepresentations I am making.) My expectations had been colored by the pace of recovery from hip replacements, and by the fact that three weeks have passed already since the operation.

Mother's mobility is moving right along. She is able to get in and out of bed by herself. Using her walker, she strolls over to the bathroom, into the kitchen, and even into the dining room. She is pretty good at getting outside to the car. The fact that the side door has a single landing step, instead of a flight of steps, makes it possible to use her walker. I have not been with her as she gets in and out of the car, but she seems to do that. On Thursday, Bob brought her up to the coffee shop around the corner from the former Wilson School. She needs some help getting in and out of her seat, but good manners already require the youngsters around her to help anyway.

As Mae West said, too much of a good thing can be wonderful, and it seems that Mother was getting lots of attention from all sorts of people. The phone is always ringing, especially around mid-day. And every day, people dropped in to say hi. The laptop computer is a great way to stay on top of news, email, and blogs (like this one). The 17" Toshiba is heavier than I expected. I don't think it has a home on the bedside cart/desk yet. Mother, you may already have done this, but if I were you, I would re-organize that cart so the laptop has a home on the top level and you get get it in and out of bed easily.

It's hard to discern any complaints coming out of Mother's mouth. I counted perhaps three. One, she gets tired if she sits too long. This makes two-hour meals a non-starter, and it's also dampened her interest in going to bible study or current events meetings for the near future. Two, she says her concentration for math puzzles is a little off. Maybe it's the drugs, maybe she was trying to avoid having a sudoku contest with me. Three, she takes pain pills from time to time, which seems like an excellent idea. It does indicate, though, that she is not pain-free yet.

When I was there I helped out in two ways -- food and cleanup. The food part was shopping and cooking. Mother likes to have her normal breakfast. A small glass of OJ when she first gets up. Then at the kitchen table, she has a full breakfast of bacon (one slice), egg (fried), toast and jam, coffee and half-and-half. This takes about 5-10 minutes for me to pull together. Lunch was soup and sandwich, perhaps with a piece of fruit. Dinner was whatever I could get away with. Editorializing for a minute, I do think it's important, Mother, for you to be getting a higher-than-average amount of fresh fruits and vegetables right now, to offset the bad effects of a temporarily sedentary lifestyle. As Michael Pollan says, "Eat food, not too much, mostly plants."

Cleanup means not just dishes, which is pretty light work, but dealing with the nighttime regime. At bedtime, I would take the commode from its hiding place in the corner of the family room and move it to the foot of the bed, along with the very nice toilet paper stand. (How do you like them dangling compound adjectives, mister?). I would also give her a clean mug with ice and water in it. In the morning, we got up around 7:00 or 7:30. I would empty the commode bucket into the toilet, the wash it out in the laundry, using bleach spray or bleach wipes. I would put the commode and toilet paper stand back in the corner and then drape them demurely with a blue sheet. This was no big deal.

The the other thing I did was to help Mother get into her leg exerciser (what is it called?). It weighs about 20 pounds, and is too heavy for Mother to swing around on her own. On the days when she doesn't go to physical therapy, she uses is for two two-hour sessions, one in the morning, and one in the late afternoon or evening.

There's plenty to do that I didn't do (thank you Dorothy). Because of my delicate sensibilities, I was spared the tasks of bathing and dressing Mother.

I have a couple of thoughts on how to do things now that the visits from the siblings are thinning out. Mother will continue to need help setting up the leg exercise device on non-PT days. She will continue to need a ride to PT on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Those tasks, though, are not difficult or delicate, and the friends and volunteers who have been coming out of the woodwork can do as much of that as we can get away with. On the cleanup front, the commode was less odious (and less odorous) than I thought it would be. Keeping it out of sight during waking hours is more of an aesthetic and psychological issue than a necessity. Dealing with it can happen well before bedtime if necessary, and, if you're game, Mother, later on in the morning if no one is around first thing.

On the food front, I think it would be a good idea to buy little cartons of OJ, so that one can be left on the night table. Similarly, the coffee machine can be programmed and set up the day before whenever someone is around. It might be worth making bacon-and-egg breakfasts in advance, and storing each day's breakfast in a Ziploc bag. This seems to argue for putting a microwave and a toaster on the kitchen table. There are bottles of water on the floor by the table already. With lunch and dinner, I think it's a good idea to have lots of leftovers in the fridge. Mother, are you already able to get things out for yourself? If not yet, it seems that you are just about at that point.

All in all, speaking as a former management consulting trainee, I would make only a few suggestions. One is to keep relying on people outside the family as much as possible to do the driving to PT and the setup of the exercise equipment. Two is two make a few modifications in the kitchen, especially to facilitate breakfast. And three is to make adjustments when possible that give Dorothy and Alison (you go, girl!) more leeway in when they come by the house.

Mother, I think it's great that you are as mobile as you already are. I know you still have a long way to go before you can move back upstairs, but you're making great strides with your short shuffling steps. It's also great that you are getting outside several times a week. You are in very good shape for someone who is older than me. Way to go.

That's the bulk of my observations and suggestions. Mother, as I said above, you should correct whatever misrepresentations I have trafficked here. And everybody else, this would be a great time to comment, ask questions, and elaborate based on your own experiences and observations.

Yea, Team McIntosh!

I changed the name of the blog

I shortened it from "McIntosh Family News" to McNews. This way when you get an email because somebody posted something, the entire subject line of the email isn't eaten up by the name of the blog, and instead, leaves a little room for the title of the blog posting to show up in your mail browser as a subject line. Jeesh, that was a long sentence.

It's been good having David here. And we sure have been eating well this week. Each one of you has brought special skills to take care of me, and David's cooking has been outstanding.

David leaves tomorrow, but Bob is here to carry on.

Guess which brother typed a blog from my computer?
I'm logged in, and as Alison says, I'm tripping into the 21st century.

It's Dorothy

Thanks to some help from my GENIUS brother, I am now logged into the blog.
Users beware!